Over the last week, I have watched as transport vans have left her farm, first with her small animals - cats and dogs, and then the caravan leaving with all of her furniture. Walking into her shell of a house nearly broke me and yesterday the final van went down the drive with her 7 horses and then she drove out of Texas for what may be the last time.
It is harder to be left than it is to be the one going on to something new, but she is entering a new and exciting chapter in her life. I cried like a baby and nothing or nobody could have stopped the tears. They continued for hours after she left and still well up as I am writing this.
I decided to take a walk down the road to where we are building our house. I do a lot of praying while I walk and a lot more inside the house. I actually was not planning on going inside the house, but to check on my new neighbors construction further down the road. As I turned to walk back, I could see the side of our house where the garages are and looking up, I noticed the french doors were open going out to the Juliette balcony. This is not uncommon since the door hardware is not on yet and they are only held shut by a plastic piece that goes into the grooves set for the deadbolt. A strong enough wind can open them.
I walked through the front door and I started to sob. So many tears rolled down my cheeks, I was leaving a trail into the room that will one day be our bedroom. I love the feel of that room and was looking for some comfort. I tried to imagine what it will look like completed, but my sorrow took over and I just continued to cry.
"Why God?" I asked Him. "Why did my friend have to move so far away?"
Living on a farm, all of my neighbors are some distance away, so to find such a friend within a short distance was truly a gift!
I picked myself up remembering to go upstairs to shut the french doors. My posture was slumped and my heart physically hurt. I walked up the stairs and into the bedroom only to gasp as the site in front of me. The doors were not only shut - but securely locked...and I know that I know God showed me something right at that very moment. He showed me that my friend did not know the Lord when we met and through our friendship, she not only came to know Him now, but had such a personal relationship, that she would never turn back. He revealed to me why he brought her into my life, instead of answering my question of why she had to leave.
Of coarse I cried even harder and thanked Him for his great mercy and love. I know there is a purpose in all of this and even though I still have a great hole in my heart, I will be on the lookout for next chapter in my life.
