So - time flew by...and although I split up and gave money to several different Christian organizations..I was not getting 'fed'.. Although I spent most of the time in my car listening to a Christian radio station... I was not getting 'fed'. Although, I tried to make time to read the Bible and Christian themed books - I still was not being 'fed'...
I know that some of you (myself included) who are thinking right about now that I should be able to feed myself..and you are right to a certain degree.. BUT - I also believe that it is a pastors job to spend his time (preachers 9-5 job) studying the Word and many hours in prayer to get rhema from God - as to what his 'flock' needs ... which in turn will stimulate the 'flock' to further explore the message given at the service. (Okay - at least in a perfect world!)
Since I had removed myself from the flock...there was a missing link. I was also really missing some of my friends whom I had completely lost touch with in most cases due to relocation. I started to ask God to restore what I lost..
Within a week, One of the friends I thought about often just drove up my driveway!!! After another week, I walked right into another when I was covering a horse show in Katy, TX. In between our conversations, support and prayer for each other, I am thrilled to say that I am healing again. I am hungry to learn what God wants me to know - instead of just reading the Bible out of sheer obedience. I am excited that my friends are talking about starting a home based Bible study again..and I am elated to say that I have found a pastor and a church that I call home..
Let not your heart be troubled... God is just so Good!!!