Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Don Started His Treatment..

..last Saturday night with a handful of pills and an injection into his abdomen. I was not there with him. We discussed it at length. His medicine did not show up in time for him to be able to start it the weekend before...and I had been training for a horse show for months - which obviously and painfully for me, fell on this last weekend. Don was insistent about me going. I knew he had given himself shots the last time he took the treatment.. but I still wanted to be there with him. There is something very personal and sacred about it. I cannot explain that ..

We kept in constant contact over the phone. I spoke with him right after he had administered the shot and he said it was so unnatural... like throwing a dart at yourself! We both laughed. Don has a great sense of humor.

My last class was late Sunday afternoon. It took more time to get packed up and on the road, but we were on our way by 5:30PM. Shortly after we headed out, I spoke to Don. He sounded horrible.. groggy.. off balance.. and very very tired. I let him go and told him I would call when I was close to home.

Three hours later I called ... no answer. I called several more times within the next 30 minutes and still no answer. I could tell by the long beep of our machine that none of my messages had been retrieved either. I felt uncomfortable.

I rolled into the driveway around 9:20PM. The gate was closed. No extra outside lights were on. I pulled the truck and horse trailer into our drive and got out, leaving the horses in the trailer, to go and check on Don. I opened our front door and was met by the stench of a cat liter box that needed cleaning badly. I then noticed that the dogs, who had just raced out the door between my legs, had had an accident on the floor.

I did not remove my boots. I dropped my keys on the ledge and ran to the back of the house. Don was laying there with the phone right beside his head. He looked very ill. I leaned down over him and (I won't lie) I was relieved to feel his breath on my face. I touched his chest and said his name. Raising my voice, I again said his name. He only slightly opened his eyes to meet mine without saying a word.

"Are you okay?" I asked.
Nodding he said,"Every muscle and bone in my body aches Julie. I forgot how horrible this medicine really is."

He slowly rose up into a sitting position. I sat beside him for a few minutes and told him how scared I was.

It is going to be a long year. Please remember Don in your prayers.


Michelle said...

Oh Julie, that's just rotten. I hope it isn't this bad for Don all the way through the treatment! Sending lots & lots of good thoughts your way!

Helen said...

I can't imagine your terror ... so glad Don responded to you ... so sorry for his pain.

Andrea - Under a Blue Moon said...

Julie I can't even imagine.... You are both most certainly in my thoughts and prayers.

phaedra96 said...

I am sure he would totally object, but is there someone close by who could be contacted to check on him if he does not respond in a reasonable peiod of time? That could make you both a little easier if you need to leave him for any amount of time. Hugs and prayers for both of you and your family.

vivian said...

this made me cry Julie.. I'm so sorry he has to go through this.. that you have to go through this. I'll be sending up lots of prayers for you guys starting right now!

bj said...

O, sweet friend. What a terrible thing to go thru. I know you were scared out of your mind. Yes, I'm afraid it might be a hard year for the both of you and please know I will keep praying.
I'm sorry ya'll have to go thru this..and I pray for a fast and full recovery..or for, at least to be able to keep this illness at bay.
xo bj

Nicole said...

Oh my, I can't even imagine how scared you may have been.
My thoughts and prayers are definitely with both of you.

Dianne said...

Julie I really do get this. I am praying it won't be this way each time he takes it. How will he ever continue to work? You BOTH have a long year ahead of you. I'll be praying and emailing...all will be well.
Love you! Dianne

Patrina's Pencil said...

Julie, read backwards to catch up.. oh how scarey this must be for you both. I am so sad that this has to be so hard to go through. Your love is strong - I admire your strength of character - both of you - what an example you are through it all.
thanks for the updates and for your honest sharing. I am definitely praying. I just coined a new phrase this morning in applying dad's detailed care. I liked it so I share it with you. I will be speaking this for Don, as well...

Deliver us, Lord Jesus
from ALL our diseases!

Patrina <")>><