I received a really nice e-mail today from someone asking me questions about my experiences as an adopted child. This is what I wrote her and thought that maybe someone else out there would like this information too:
I love talking about my experiences..especially if it helps someone who has either already adopted or is trying to make the decision about adopting!
I always knew I was adopted. My parents told me that I was 'specially picked'! Honest to God..until I was about 10, I had this idea that there must be some kind of store where they had a conveyor belt that went around with babies on it and my parents saw me and said, "That one...we want that one!" ha ha ... maybe too many trips to the airport luggage area...?? Not sure how I came up with that idea.
I never had the desire to find my birth parents...until I was pregnant. I had no information at all about them. When I went to see the Obstetrician for the first time and he talked to me while filling out my chart...when I revealed I was adopted - he took a red marker and put a large slash across the chart and wrote ADOPTED. Humm - that left a scary impression on me.
I decided to contact the agency I was adopted from to see if I could get any medical information.. The lady I spoke with recognized my maiden name. You see my adopted Father is a famous Neurosurgeon and he had apparently operated on this lady's son. To say the least..she would have given me just about anything I asked her for...but I stopped her. I KNEW opening that door could be a wicked Pandora's Box of sorts...and that is not why I was calling! I did learn a lot that day about my natural heritage which I found interesting...
I shared this information with my Mom and she understood why I called...but in the middle of my 'story' I looked over at her and she was crying. I was an adult...married and expecting my first child and it still obviously hurt her. I could tell that she was trying so hard not to cry..to no avail..
I think as a kid I lashed out at her when she punished me..saying things like "I wish you had not adopted me." ..but that never phased her. She knew better.
Now - I know better ...God delivered me into their arms and I am so very thankful. Talk about winning the lottery of life!!!
My Mom was my very best friend. I lost her 4 years ago and each winter ..just days before Christmas, I feel a darkness come down about me. That is when she died - just 4 days before Christmas day. No words can describe how much I miss her.
My Dad is still with us. He is 84 ...I think..he won't tell me anymore! He is doing great though! Dad is my biggest cheerleader..' Hurrahing' me into finishing my book. 6 chapters done Dad!
If anyone else has any questions - I will be happy to answer them to the best of my ability!