Thursday, January 7, 2010

Information About Being Adopted..

I received a really nice e-mail today from someone asking me questions about my experiences as an adopted child. This is what I wrote her and thought that maybe someone else out there would like this information too:

I love talking about my experiences..especially if it helps someone who has either already adopted or is trying to make the decision about adopting!

I always knew I was adopted. My parents told me that I was 'specially picked'! Honest to God..until I was about 10, I had this idea that there must be some kind of store where they had a conveyor belt that went around with babies on it and my parents saw me and said, "That one...we want that one!" ha ha ... maybe too many trips to the airport luggage area...?? Not sure how I came up with that idea.

I never had the desire to find my birth parents...until I was pregnant. I had no information at all about them. When I went to see the Obstetrician for the first time and he talked to me while filling out my chart...when I revealed I was adopted - he took a red marker and put a large slash across the chart and wrote ADOPTED. Humm - that left a scary impression on me.

I decided to contact the agency I was adopted from to see if I could get any medical information.. The lady I spoke with recognized my maiden name. You see my adopted Father is a famous Neurosurgeon and he had apparently operated on this lady's son. To say the least..she would have given me just about anything I asked her for...but I stopped her. I KNEW opening that door could be a wicked Pandora's Box of sorts...and that is not why I was calling! I did learn a lot that day about my natural heritage which I found interesting...

I shared this information with my Mom and she understood why I called...but in the middle of my 'story' I looked over at her and she was crying. I was an adult...married and expecting my first child and it still obviously hurt her. I could tell that she was trying so hard not to cry..to no avail..

I think as a kid I lashed out at her when she punished me..saying things like "I wish you had not adopted me." ..but that never phased her. She knew better.

Now - I know better ...God delivered me into their arms and I am so very thankful. Talk about winning the lottery of life!!!

My Mom was my very best friend. I lost her 4 years ago and each winter ..just days before Christmas, I feel a darkness come down about me. That is when she died - just 4 days before Christmas day. No words can describe how much I miss her.

My Dad is still with us. He is 84 ...I think..he won't tell me anymore! He is doing great though! Dad is my biggest cheerleader..' Hurrahing' me into finishing my book. 6 chapters done Dad!

If anyone else has any questions - I will be happy to answer them to the best of my ability!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your story! We adopted our daughter 3 years ago and it was the biggest gift we gave ourselves.

Gayla said...

Wonderful tribute!

nancygrayce said...

Thanks for that! It should be a great comfort to my sister! Her son has always known he's adopted. I know he says all the teen stuff, but so did all 6 of us and were weren't adopted! :) We probably said, I wish I had been adopted!

You have such a sweet story! Thanks again for being so open.....and so wise!

Jenny C. said...

Julie,

We adopted our son from abroad 4.5 years ago. I have always felt that I would be completely okay if and when he went in search of his birthparents. But, the truth is...I really can't know how I will feel until (and if) the moment occurs. So, I really appreciate you sharing your experience with your mom.

What I do know, though, is that I feel so friggin' lucky to be this little boy's mom.

Anonymous said...

I was seventeen when I gave my daughter up for adoption. It was 1967, I was seventeen, and at that time, acceptance of a "single" mother was unheard of. I knew the right choice was to find a loving family to parent my daughter because I was still a child myself. Over the years I struggled with the idea that I should search for my child, but I always knew that her adoptive parents were meant to be the angels that held her in their hearts for me. I know you miss your Mom but you have two mothers who will always love you wherever you are!

Vintage Linen Treasures said...

Julie, you are such a beautiful person. I couldn't stop the tears from falling when I read this post. Your love for your mom and dad is so tender and beautiful.

Patrina said...

Julie,
I've enjoyed reading your blogs to day, thanks for visiting mine and picking up the pencil to connect with me there on the Bridge.

I love that you can share so candidly and warmly about your adoption. You are a vessel in the hand of God to help others who may not be as settled in there adoptive situation.

I love the fact that you know that God had a hand in picking your adoptive parents. Your are a blessed woman. You are one of the survivors. Your story could help save millions of unborn babies from certain death - because your birth mom made a choice to give you life. What an awesome tribute - a legacy - to her. She chose life rather than death.

And as for your adoptive mom, (your real mom) she loved you even more than if you were her own. There are no words to describe the loss of a mom so dear. The words just don't come. But the emotions of such a loss are always ready to lay before us like a gentle warm blanket to cover our sorrow until the tears in us subside.

My mama has been gone 7 years, and the surprise attacks - still imobilize me. This is a love that knows no bounds.

I'm thankful that you were placed into a loving family. I thank God for your life, today. May He continue to guide a direct you in all ways - for His Glory.

You are blessed and highly favored,

Patrina <")>><