For days now it has been wet, rainy, completely overcast and cold. I don't remember the last time the sun was out. It is bad enough that the weather inhibits any fun outdoor activities - like riding, hiking in the woods or fishing at the lake..but the mud...Oh the mud we have to put up with - especially in the horse pen. It is so dangerous trying to just stay balanced in the Texas clay...which when wet turns into oil...I am sure of it. No other substance could be so slippery.
No - that is not it. I know what is bothering me. You see, just 4 short years ago my Mother was put into the hospital. She and my Father lived in a high rise by the medical center. When I went to visit her, I would go to the high rise, park my car and hop on the train for a few blocks. She was in this first hospital for almost a month...through Thanksgiving. I remember because she was refusing to eat and I brought her food I made from her own recipes and asked her to taste them to see if I did a good job...(wink). Shortly there after they moved her to another hospital that was much closer. After that I would park my car, as usual at the high rise and just walk..just 2 short blocks.
It was always cloudy. It was always windy. Now add the cold and I can see; I can feel; I can remember how it felt. My hair would slap my face and get into my mouth. My nose would run and I would sniff every few seconds or so... I walked as fast as I could but I could never escape it. No matter what I wore, I was always shivering by the time I reached those sliding doors.
"Whoosh!" the sound they would make when they opened in front of me.
"DING" the elevator beckoning me to come in.
"Clack, clack, clack" the rhythmic sound my shoes made on the sterile floor leading to Mom's room...until finally the day came...the day that would be my last day to make that journey.
She died just 4 days before Christmas. If she had had a choice, she would not have chosen that day. It was too close to a holiday...and yet it is not the holiday that beckons the vivid memories.. it is the weather.