Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Please Excuse Me If...

...I seem a bit over sentimental, emotional, or just a bit too tender hearted this time of the year. I can't help it and it comes without warning...kind of like cooler weather. In fact, I think that is one thing that triggers it. My Mom, pictured below many many years before I was born, died only 4 days before Christmas 3 years ago. I miss her so much I cannot breathe sometimes.

Memories start playing through my heart and head and no matter what I do, they pierce me. Some are childish, fun, laugh out loud ones...like the time when we all tried to learn how to snow ski or how I could make her laugh with my funny faces. Some drew a portrait of her patience, like when she taught such an unwilling student (me) how to sew...and the look on both of our faces when I won the Sewing class award in High School! More are drawn from what a great friend she was and could offer the most logical advice when I needed it....Still others, just as precious send tears streaming down my face, like when she ate home made food I made from her own recipes, when she was almost too ill to keep food down....or the smile on her face when I came to visit her with a clip in pony tail in my hair! She told me to go and buy her one because mine made me look so cute!The holidays have always been my favorite time of the year...but without you with me Mom, something is just not right.

7 comments:

LivingTheLife said...

Julie...
It is the change of seasons that triggers my emotions the same way you described. Fall was my daddy's favorite time of year...and it always reminds me of him busying himself for the hunting and holiday season. I lost both my mother @ 57 and my brother @52 in the month of September. Mom died in 91...so that's been 17 years...but it feels like just last year most of the time. My brother died in 2006 just 2 years ago on Sept. 19th...the 10 year mark for my dad who was 65 at the time will be Nov. 8th...one day before my daughters birthday! While I do cherish this time of year...it does bring forth sadness and lonlieness along with it...but I do try and remember it was also their favorite time of the year...so it does give me some comfort, too!

Your thoughts and sentiments were written beautifully, I know your mom had to be such an awesome lady...it shows through you and your family. She seems like she was quite the "lady" and that is a rarity these days. Hope you are feeling chipper soon...I know with those precious grandbabies it certainly must put a new spin on life!

Blessings...
Teresa

Ginger said...

Hi Julie:
It's so sad to lose someone we love. I've lost both my parents and sometimes it seems like just yesterday.
What you wrote almost made me cry.
Ginger

Amy at Bunny Rose Cottage said...

Oh Julie, I am so sorry about your sweet mom. She sounds like the most beautiful loving person in the world. What beautiful memories you have to cherish. I wish I could give you a real hug!

Love you,
Amy

Deb said...

A beautiful post to honour your dear Mum.

Pat @ Back Porch Musings said...

Beautiful post, Julie. Sweet remembrance of your dear mother.

The Holidays are a bittersweet time for us, as well. J's young brother was killed in a car accident, not long before Thanksgiving, 1969...two months later, his dad died of a sudden and massive heart attack, just a few days after Christmas. Two years ago, we lost our precious grandson Elijah, just before Thanksgiving. It's amazing the memories Christmas stirs up, in our family, also.

Susan (Moonlight and Magnolias on RMS) said...

Oh...this almost made me cry. Your Mom sounds like a wonderfully, loving person! I just have to believe we will see those we love and loved so much, again...some day. Susan

Thrifty Miss Priss said...

oh this just brought tears to my eyes! I'm so sorry your missing your mom! Holidays bring up a lot of memories...both good and bad depending on the childhood we had. There are some Chrismas songs that I just can not bear to listen to.
Big hugs from me to you today Julie!