I am so discouraged.....

Long story...

I love American Saddlebred horses. I have for as long as I can remember. This is not just an outside interest ..it is a part of who I am. My Grandfather owned a couple of Quarter horses before I was born, but other than that - no one in my family had anything to do with horses. I know God put this inside of me.

Good show horses can cost a small fortune to purchase..why - because they are far and few between. We have a farm, so we decided to buy a couple of well bred broodmares and breed. I have bred 4 foals...all that I still own.

Filly #1 - stunning body type, great temperament, most expensive to breed out of the 4 and has NO talent.

Filly #2 - Stunning body type with an Arab type head, Hard headed and could not trot with cadence on both sides...?? We could never figure it out and she was very difficult to work with...

Colt #3 - Beautiful but laid back. Everyone thought he was so quiet - he was going to, at best, be a pleasure horse. Not much $$ to breed..yet still wonderful bloodlines. When it was time for him to be broke...he amazed everyone. Very talented, very energetic, but a pill under the saddle...lots of bucking and it took a long time to get him semi-broke. Well - after over a year in professional training this boy needed to come home. I am taking lessons on him and I feel like I am failing. He rears, he bucks, he fights me all the way through my lessons and since I am usually at home alone when I work horses - I do not feel safe riding him. I have to work him in lines.

I am so discouraged right now. I keep pleading with God to tell me what to do. I hired an Equine Chiropractor to come out to the house and he would not even sit still for her to work on him. This Chiropractor worked on another one of my horses with wonderful results.. I do not want to throw this horse in the back pasture as another "loser" as a show horse..but nor do I want to get injured. I refuse to sell a horse unless I know exactly where he is going and that he is safe...it is too easy for a horse in Texas to get shipped to Mexico and end up on someones dinner plate! Horse slaughter may be illegal in the States - but I assure you, it is still going on in Canada and in Mexico. This is the bitterness of breeding horses...and why I have not bred a horse in 3 years...with no real plans to ever do it again either.

I know that I know that I know that God placed this love inside of me - but why didn't it come with directions??? I feel like I am an inch away from crying. I just ask you to lift me up in prayer...but only after you pray for others who have real needs!